: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
