Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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