my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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