If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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