Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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