Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
