I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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