So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize