evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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