shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize