It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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