I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
