i just google imaged poop.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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