Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
