it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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