I skipped work to stalk him.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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