Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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