TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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