You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize