I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Randomize
