i think my tv is drunk
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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