Got a toothbrush?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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