Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize