your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize