I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
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Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
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Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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