She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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