I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You left your phone here
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