a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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