2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
