Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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