he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
