walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
