In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
