I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
