It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
