why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
