This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
