i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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