it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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