Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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