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Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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