I just threw up on my dentist
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
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