i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
whose ass print is on the piano?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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