Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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