Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
