You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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