I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
