Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
