Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
