Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
