I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
