Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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