At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.