Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures

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  (818): you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures http://tfl.nu/qd8i
  Replies (14) Good night (3691) Bad night (521)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...

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  (936): im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses... http://tfl.nu/w5rv
  Replies (6) Good night (3666) Bad night (922)
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  (925): View more from California

  you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.

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  (925): you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes. http://tfl.nu/km2x
  Replies (18) Good night (588) Bad night (2867)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."

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  (412): Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes." http://tfl.nu/8fia
  Replies (15) Good night (1088) Bad night (5338)
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  (247): View more from

  Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.

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  (247): Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me. http://tfl.nu/wk5w
  Replies (11) Good night (933) Bad night (4305)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.

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  (613): I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked. http://tfl.nu/z7yx
  Replies (11) Good night (7015) Bad night (829)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.

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  (203): The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11. http://tfl.nu/3slh
  Replies (15) Good night (3116) Bad night (948)
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  (818): View more from California

  I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.

  (805): View more from California

  What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.

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  (818): I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated. (805): What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes. http://tfl.nu/bk6e
  Replies (6) Good night (2888) Bad night (785)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.

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  (870): I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me. http://tfl.nu/h17o
  Replies (12) Good night (1191) Bad night (415)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?

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  (386): Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right? http://tfl.nu/g0nq
  Replies (6) Good night (777) Bad night (391)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.

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  (734): I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now. http://tfl.nu/9g1m
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (291)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.

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  (520): You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha. http://tfl.nu/0ooa
  Replies (3) Good night (424) Bad night (207)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.

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  (917): I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend. http://tfl.nu/va3g
  Replies (0) Good night (299) Bad night (161)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go

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  (954): When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go http://tfl.nu/7tcn
  Replies (2) Good night (161) Bad night (327)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.

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  (610): Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow. http://tfl.nu/yt6q
  Replies (0) Good night (366) Bad night (181)

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