Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.