Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
false alarm. still invincible.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?