Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
