I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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