I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
