i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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