What did we do last night that was yellow?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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