everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sext me about skeletons
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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