i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
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I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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