after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
